Sunday, July 31, 2005

Losing my mind

Yes, I'm slowly but surely losing my mind.

I was suprised to realize that after three days of staying at home (and three more holidays taken for next week), I have actually spent most of those days going through the project I'm working on for my uni degree. Needless to say I started off being totally clueless, now I seem to be just a wee bit clued in but not enough to feel confident that I'll manage easily.

Either way - stumbling block number one has already arrived: Database normalization.
I know 99% of you won't even know that it exists, even less what it is. But I'm going crazy here about because I had grasped the concept of it last year (just barely, mind you) and now I can't by the life of me get back to understanding it. And what's worse is that I have spent this entire bloody Sunday trying to figure it out and I'm still at a loss. May I add, this is something that should've been done in less than 20 minutes. So, as a conclusion, I'm losing my mind.

I am going to have to find a way to normalize that stupid database (all it has is about 15 fields, for heaven's sake! How har can that be???) because if that's not done, I can't do anything else as it all build up on this!!! AAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

That said - I'm seriously suprised at myself. I seem to have found some sort of discipline in me that I never knew existed. I wake up in the morning and get down to business straightaway. I wonder how long I can keep it up.
Suffice it to say, I've got the new Expansion Pack for Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 called "Soaked". If nothing else, my breaks are fun ;-)

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

So hard...

... to write in this blog at the moment.
My brain seems scrambled to pieces, I can barely allow myself to deal with what is happening on a DAILY basis at work at the moment. I find it all so hard to explain because nobody can understand unless you were in that team, in that workplace, in that situation.
Suffice it to say, on Friday someone I respected very highly in the German office resigned. It took it out of me completely and I spent the entire weekend just trying to get to grips with this.
On Monday things could've gotten better due to my manager resigning as well (I'm tellin ya, it IS happening daily!!!) which I think could've improved my situation at work. Were it not for a freak in our team that seems to be considered as the next manager. I've said this yesterday and I've said it today - if that idiot gets the job I'm outta there in a flash. There's barely anything keeping me there as it is, in fact the only thing that still keeps me is the minimal chance of being transferred to the US. If not for that I'd have been gone a long time.
The atmosphere at work is unbearable, I know I shouldn't let it get to me too much but there are times where I wonder how people can be so incredibly dumb and stupid and blind. And then there are times when I can laugh but those are rare.
On top of this I'm desperately trying to figure a way out to start/complete my university project and am faced with the fact that I truly know NOTHING and have no idea how to get this done. Though I know I'll eventually get there the road is a rocky one and the journey most unpleasant.
So really - all in all not much fun. And to top it all off, a piece of a tooth broke off on Friday. So much for being through with the dentist - can things get worse??? I'll bet you they will...

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The first moon landing

Yeah, hard to believe that was already 35 years ago!

Google knows how to celebrate this and has dedicated an entire website to this amazing event!

Check it out HERE. Make sure you zoom in ALL THE WAY and you'll actually get to see what the moon is really like close up! This is what Mr. Armstrong must've seen once he set foot on it!!! The TV footage we usually associate with the first lunar landing doesn't come close to what it's really like.

Oh and their FAQ which you can find HERE is also worth reading ;-)

Long live Google! You guys rock!

Monday, July 11, 2005

Laughing through the tears

I feel a bit like a fraud writing about the attacks in London.
Everyone knows I'm not happy here. Everyone knows I don't particularly like living in the UK. Everyone knows I can't wait to get away.

And yet, for the moment, this is my HOME. I always said "I love London. Not the people, just the city." It's still true. But in the aftermath of Thursday's attacks I have had to (grudgingly) admit that I feel extremely proud of the Brits. I take my hat off to them. The way to deal with terrorism is how they are doing it - get on with life.

And whilst the tragedy remains, there is still a lot of good ole "British humour" that can help to cope.

Check THIS link to the BBC out and do make the effort to read some of the blogs in their link. They will make you laugh and shake your head, maybe give you goosebumps and scare you but they are SO worth it.

But my personal favorite has got to be THIS. Don't be surprised if you see me wearing one sometime soon ;-)

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Changing tactics...?

I'm not sure it's wise to start studying now, not after managing to get through Uni without studying for two years. It's worked so far so why fix it when it's not broken?

But the project I'm facing will be tough - might as well try to get into PHP, MySQL and Apache. I could use it for websites later on so maybe it won't be so bad.
If anyone has good tips on what books to use or which websites to look into, feel free to let me know.
After studying most of the day (I know!!! What's happening to me???) I will now go and catch some zzzzzzzzzzzzs :-)
Night all!

Friday, July 08, 2005

The day after (continued...)

I went out to Woking town centre during my lunch break.
It was busy as usual though much quieter. Or maybe I am just imagining things? I don't know anymore.
Union Jacks decorated the entrance of the Peacock's shopping centre, the Library and Barclay's Bank ... an otherwise beautiful sight turned reminder of the evil that exists in some people.

The day after...

It was eerily quiet this morning as I walked past Woking train station on my way to work.
There is usually a long line of cabs waiting to pick people up and drive them to work, the parking space is always full up with cars dropping people off.
Not today...

And whilst the police is not present at the station as they were yesterday, it is still quite obvious that Woking's still trying to stay on the safe side...

Thursday, July 07, 2005


I don't know what to say, my mind is jumbled, I want to scream and cry and yet all I can do is sit here in this stupid chair, in this stupid office and constantly hit refresh on the BBC website in case there's more info on these terrible attacks.

I can't say I'm afraid, I feel quite safe here but I'm scared for those I know in London. The mobile network is down, everyone is trying to reach their loved ones and make sure they're ok. Some will never get through...

I can't believe that people as sick and evil as that live out there somewhere. I hope they get the punishment they deserve. And more.

Maybe I'll write more when my head has cleared.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

And the winner is...

... LONDON!!!

We are hosting the 30th Olympic Games in 2012!
And whilst I'm definitely not a big fan of living here, I LOVE London and I couldn't be happier about it! I know I won't be living here anymore by then but I will try my damnest to "pay a visit" when the time comes!

Check out the plan of the Olympics for London by going to London 2012
This is just a brief screenshot of the actual interactive map that awaits you there:

Another page to look at as well - the BBC's coverage for the Olympics HERE. Check out the "Inspirational Film" link on the right hand side of the page. It gave me goosebumps!!!

BUT... don't bother checking the videos page (see below...)

Tuesday, July 05, 2005


Four little letters that sound so innocent...
They stand for Broadband and Mobile Networks - my last university module. I took that last exam about 2 months ago and walked out of it 99% sure that I had failed it.
Needless to say with all the crap going on at work, this result could've very well been the critical turning point for everything "career related" in my life.
My adrenaline level went through the roof everytime I checked my uni email inbox. I had told my tutor how important this result was and he promised to let me know as soon as he heard anything.
Well, today was the day. BBMN in the subject title, my tutor's name as the sender - I knew this was make or break time.
I'll copy his exact words in here and you shall rejoice! :-)

"Informally, there is no need for you to worry about this result."

WOHOO!!!!!! I have passed this exam as well! Only the project to go and then I'm finished! YEY!

I will say that I'm totally and utterly astounded that I have passed, because I had studied nothing until the evening before the exam but let's just leave it at that! I got away with it so HURRAH!!!
Project - here I come!

Monday, July 04, 2005

Stupid, stupid, stupid!!!

Yes, that would be ME!

So I moan and complain about the stupid mattress I've had since I moved into this new place THREE YEARS AGO! I finally manage to go and order a new one (agreed with landlord and all that...), today was the delivery date.
I took the day off work, stayed home waiting for the mattress - the door rings, the guys bring it in, and SUPRISE! It's too big!!!!!!!! I mean, H-E-L-L-O!!!! How hard can it be to measure a mattress?
Clearly too hard for my pea-sized brain. I had to tell the guys to take it back.
I ordered the same mattress, the right size this time, but I have to wait another week *sigh*.
I do keep repeating that everyone gets what they deserve but I really don't think I deserved THAT!