Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy (?) New Year

Well, I guess considering that today's the last day of 2007 I should do a little summary of this year here but I honestly don't feel like it right now. It's been an interesting one obviously, what with my move back to the UK and being able to not work for a few months and live off my savings.
But it doesn't end on the best note, nor does the new year start on a good one either.

I'll make it brief because the more I think about it, the more it hurts and I can't control myself all too well and end up crying all the time - but the basic gist of my misery is the fact that one of my uncles has been diagnosed with a brain tumor about three weeks ago and he's going to die very soon. Even at the best of times, I'm an incredibly emotional person. For crying out loud, I can't mention Beethoven's 9th without welling up or my throat seizing up - dealing with death (and this particular horrendous kind of slow death) pretty much brings me to the very limit.

I went to visit him in the hospital yesterday and whilst he's currently stable and not in any pain, my heart just ached for him. He was still my sweet uncle lying there - it didn't seem fair to think of him being gone. He sleeps most of the day and is too exhausted to keep his eyes open or talk more than a few words. He still has his good old sense of humor though - every now and then he'll make a joke that almost makes you feel like nothing's wrong.
I don't want him to die but at the same time I know he wants to and I would wish for him to die peacefully in his sleep. I'll be back in Germany in about 10 days or so but I just don't know if he can hang in there this long (provided he even wants to). I don't wish this on anybody - it's heartbreaking.

So, with that said, considering the circumstances, I still hope for a good 2008, wish you all the best for the new year and hope that it brings you health, happiness and everything you wish for.