So angry...

I don't suppose you can stay triumphant forever. After the high I've been on since the performance on Saturday, it was time to come back down to earth.
I just didn't realize it would make me THIS angry.

Choir has been fantastic since I joined - the Missa Solemnis was a piece about God and all that but it was in Latin. It was bearable to sing it because it didn't mean anything. Not to me anyway. It was the music that was the focus.
Still on that high from Saturday, I went to choir rehearsals today knowing we'd start on the new piece straightaway - St. Matthew Passion by Bach.
The dreadfulness of it hit immediately after opening the first page of the score and realizing this was the whole damn story of Jesus! Which I truly wouldn't mind singing about if only I didn't understand the words. Sadly, this is sung in English so I do understand everything.
Needless to say, it has completely and totally put me off. I'm not even sure I want to sing anymore now.

I mean, for heaven's sake!!! Who the hell would want to sing stuff like
"That he for us should give his blood
Should bear our sins o'erwhelming load
The shameful cross enduring" ?

Really, what a total and complete disappointment.
I knew I'd have to come back down to earth, I just didn't realize I'd fall this hard. I want to sing and put my heart into it. If I hate what I sing how can I put my heart into it???