Creative Writing... my first attempt

Well, just got back from the Creative Writing course. If you've read the entry from a week ago you'll know what this is about (if you haven't read it, don't expect me to repeat it all again).

So, without much further ado - here's my first short story based on the homework we were given last week. I'll add the comments from the teacher and the class afterwards. Enjoy! :-)


Resolutions

The leather felt heavenly... so soft and smooth, she knew she HAD to have it. The color was a deep blue, so mesmerizing that she had stared at it for a few minutes before realizing that it might look weird and she would attract unwanted attention.
Lauretta moved away from the bags quickly before she would break her New Year’s resolution. Well, one of many anyway. She’d made a list of things she wanted to improve this year. Stop drinking, she thought. That was quite high on the list. Stop procrastinating, stop complaining, stop being a perfectionist – all these resolutions featured prominently on the list that was still stuck to the fridge door at home.
Maybe she’d bitten off more than she could chew, she thought. So far, from the list of ten or so resolutions, only one had not yet been broken and she suddenly felt proud of moving away from those bags so quickly. Maybe this one resolution would be her success this year. But temptation lingered everywhere around her.
She decided that the best thing to do was to concentrate on the job at hand. She had a good reputation as a skilled and successful department store detective and she intended to keep that reputation. For a long time it had seemed that acting was her calling but after many years of failing one audition after the other, she was forced to accept that maybe she just didn’t have what it took to be an actress. Her smarmy worm of an ex-husband had told her this many times but she knew he was just jealous that she was following her dreams while he was stuck doing accounts in the same old boring office where nobody liked him.
And because she was an independent and strong woman of the new millenium, Lauretta Teal (she had taken her mother’s maiden name again after the divorce) had decided that her not so perfect acting skills would be just enough for the one job she’d wanted to do since she was a little girl. She would become a private detective!
After two years of working in Sole’s detective agency as a secretary, she had been promoted and within three years she was one of the most in demand private detectives. Being hired by Harrods had been the ultimate honour. She knew after this case, she would finally be able to open her own agency.
The thought cheered her up no end and she found herself grinning from ear to ear. She couldn’t wait to open her own agency. It would finally mean that she had made something of herself, despite all the naysayers encountered along the way. All she needed to do now is find out if any of the employees here in Harrods were dishonest. The director of security in Harrods hadn’t told her exactly what he meant by dishonest but she wasn’t one to second guess her clients. Whatever they wanted from her, they would get.
Looking around after taking the escalator to the first floor, she’d picked up on two sales assistants looking uncomfortable by the cash register in the ladies fashion department but on her way to them she stopped dead in her tracks.
The most beautiful blouse had caught her attention – it was pure silk and a look at the price tag confirmed her worst fears. It was designer and she knew she HAD to have that blouse. Feeling the silk between her fingers, she felt the excitement infuse every particle of her being. She could see from the cut of the blouse that it would fit her perfectly. A voice in her head kept telling her “Remember your resolution, remember your resolution” but Lauretta was already on her way to the changing room with the blouse in her hands.
Five minutes later she stood in front of the mirror and sighed. Just as she had expected, the blouse hugged her figure perfectly, the color suited her and would go with just about any skirt or trousers she owned. It was then that the voice spoke again, this time louder and more insistent. Lauretta couldn’t help but acknowledge it. It had been a day where her willpower was stronger than her need to own something new so she took the blouse off, sighed as she put it back on the shelf and walked out of the ladies fashion department without so much as a last glance.
In the jewelry department a group of Japanese tourists had gathered around something and were excitedly taking pictures. She could see that the sales assistant was growing more and more aggitated with having so many people around her precious jewels. As Lauretta approached the gleaming display case she held her breath. There it was the most perfect ruby ring she had ever seen. It was very feminine and silver, with three rubies creating a triangle shape at the top. The sales assistant moved away from the Japanese group and before she knew it, Lauretta had the ring on her finger and admired the perfect fit. Before she could think twice, she had decided she HAD to have this ring. She looked expectantly at the assistant but before she could say anything a loud crash interrupted them. The Japanese tourists were now even louder and the assistant rushed over to see what had happened.
Lauretta ignored the voice in her head and five minutes later she had exited Harrods, stopping only at a red light a few streets away. Admiring her new ring she thought "Damn it, so much for my New Year’s resolution... Nevermind, I’ll stop stealing next year".

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Comments from the teacher:
- funny story, likeable character
- good character description, by mentioning that she wanted to be an actress made it more believeable that she could be a private detective and act as needed
- clever way of distracting the reader by describing the things like the bag and the blouse which don't really matter but move the story on
- unexpected, humorous ending
- need to tell more about the Japanese group, make them more part of the story

The class really liked the story too. I could tell by the laughs I got while I was reading it to them. I was so damn nervous that I could barely breathe! They were all complimentary and also made comments about what they liked. It was so cool. The other stories that were read were absolutely fantastic too. We're quite a talented group, I have to say!

So... for next week we're supposed to pic a picture out of a magazine or an ad and make up a character for that picture, describing them in the 4 different characterization techniques we've learned about today. I'm really not sure that'll be very interesting to read but if any of those descriptions lead to a story, I will post it :-)

Off to bed now... good night!

P.S. My back seems to behave again - let's hope it keeps till tomorrow and it's not just the painkillers doing their job!