Delving deeper

So the reminiscing hasn't really stopped this week. Set off on the trail of remembering my old self in my Garth days, I went even further back to those days when I was barely a teenager, re-reading old diaries and discovering things I always kinda knew but never remembered with such great detail.
How I hated school - almost every page in my first diary is filled with it. How I loved Patrick Swayze (so much so, that I called my diary Patrick), North & South, Dirty Dancing, Michael Landon, Santa Barbara. How I crushed hard on a boy at school for three years, how infatuated I was with my new friends in Bremen, how I spent HOURS on the phone with them in the middle of the night, how ridiculously naive I was, even at 18.
How music slowly crystalized itself out of everything else to become the vision of my future, how I saw no limit to my abilities, to my talents.

I don't ever want to go back to those days, I know that much. But there's a part of me that can't help wondering how the girl I used to be is nothing like the woman I am today. And not in a good way.
I do wish I could go back in time and instruct my younger self to try and do a bit better... but then again, I'm not sure I would've known to appreciate such good advice at that age. So maybe it's all turned out just the way it should be...