An intersting twist

When I got up this morning and realized I might be late for the 8am conference call I had scheduled with a customer, I thought this day couldn't get worse.
Rushing on my way in I almost ran my company's CEO over, who smiled at me and wished me a good morning. Little did I know it would be quite the opposite.
To make a long story short - my company's being bought out by IBM. The email was waiting in everyone's inboxes at 7am and needless to say, for the rest of the day the only thing on people's minds was the takeover.
I remember two, maybe three years ago when a layoff wave hit the Woking office. People were being asked to the HR office one by one and we just knew they would come out without a job. At the time I felt pretty secure in my role as I was one of two people supporting the product in German and I knew before I'd go, my brand new colleague would get axed. Still, it was a horrid experience. The atmosphere was almost unbearable, with people speaking in hushed tones, a lot of gossiping and guessing going on and of course the news that spread like wildfire "So and so's just been called in!!!".
This time, we may or may not be so lucky. At 10am a joint presentation was held where our CEO and IBM's something or other explained what was going to happen, what the idea behind the acquisition is and so on and so forth. Everything they said sounded positive. Of course, they'd hardly start telling everyone "Yeah, your jobs are going to go in a few months".
Overall, it sounds like this could open up an incredible window of opportunity. Provided they don't fuck us about and just outright lied to us today, chances are this could be a good thing to happen. But let's face it. How many takeovers have you seen where people have not lost their jobs? I don't know of any.
To be honest, it's not so much the fear of losing a job that preoccupies me, but the fact that my visa depends on it. No job, no visa.
Stupid things like "Do I now invest in buying furniture until I know for sure? Do I keep the lamp I just bought, do I bother signing up for any courses?" suddenly appear bigger than life.
If I were to put all my faith in this and keep very positive and believe in good things, I'd take the chance. I'd go and buy furniture, I'd sign up for classes and I'd keep the lamp. I'd also go and buy tickets for concerts I know I will want to see later in the year and I'd make plans on how to spend the money I've got coming my way once I expense some of the moving costs.
However, if I were to be more cautious and negative (and frankly, simply reasonable), I'd hold out. I'd wait to see what the deal is and then move forward.
The only problem is - this whole acquisition is only going to be finalized towards the end of this year. Until then, everyone's lives have been pretty much suspended.
99% of the people at that meeting today looked worried and some very good questions came up which weren't answered to everyone's satisfaction. The idea of "joining" a company that employs almost 400.000 people in the world can be scary and exciting at the same time.
For me, well... I found myself being really surprised at the intensity of the loyalty I felt for my company. We're barely 900 people in the whole company - I guess I could say that I know at least 80% of people by name, probably 60% of people in person. I like our product, it's a good piece of software which hasn't got any real competitors in the market because noone can really do what our software does. I got sentimental at the thought of having an email address that ends with @us.ibm.com or whatever it'll be and losing our company's domain. Only two days ago did I receive my very first business cards - these will now be obsolete.
And all in all, I hurt for the simple fact that I'm now part of the "good" side of this company (having moved from the European offices, which I won't comment on) but I won't ever get to see what it was really like here because everything is about to change.
And then, of course, there is the visa and the question - will I have to move back to Europe? Will I know anytime soon and will I EVER find peace??? After fighting for this move to happen for the past 14 years, will I have to keep fighting? And if I do lose this job, do I have chances to find something else and do I even WANT those chances?
I suppose what makes this whole situation so unfortunate is the fact that there is more waiting involved. Have patience, the CEO and the other speakers kept telling us but I don't think they realized (or maybe cared) how much something like this can change people's lives. Today I have seen my colleague's faces creased with worry because they have been through this before with other companies and were eventually laid off, living with uncertainty for many, many months and worrying whether they can provide for their families or not in the near future. In that respect I am very lucky because the only person depending on me is me. I owe nobody anything and I can come and go as I please. And still, this seems to cause such a big problem for me, I can't even imagine what it would be like to have a family to worry about.
All in all not much work was done today. People huddled in small groups all over the place, chatting and exchanging opinions, some open minded, others not so much. And everyone knowing fully well that this is the end of our jobs as we know them, no matter what will come our way, whether we keep them or lose them, nothing will ever be the same. And I'm incredibly sad that I won't get to see what this life with this company could've been like.
I'm sure there will be new developments over the next few weeks and if I've got the heart and the nerve to update this blog with it, I shall do so.
In the meantime, keep me and my colleagues in your thoughts. Because whilst I don't doubt for a minute that I will easily find a new job wherever I decide to go or stay, I know there are plenty of others who won't be so lucky.
Stay positive. And to quote two of IBM's favorite words to use: "THINK" and "INNOVATE" ;-)