It's strange...

...when I think about leaving Woking (because for some reason I believe that this time the move to the US WILL happen) nothing breaks my heart more than the thought of leaving Woking Choir.

Maybe it's a reflection of the struggle I've been going through on a daily basis for the past two months but singing with the choir makes me so damn happy.
It's a different kind of happy - not the delirious kind I felt whilst working at Expo, where it seemed like I was walking on air every day. This is a content happy. A real, very clear and easy happy. Something that brings a smile to my face everytime I think about it.

And with just two weeks into rehearsing the Missa Solemnis, I want nothing more than the move to the US to take a really long time. Because I am desperate to stay around for the concert on the 29th of November.
Here I am, 13 years into my dream of getting to the US, so CLOSE to it and yet all I want at this very moment is to stay here. Long enough to finish the performance with the choir. No need to call me crazy - I'm doing plenty of that every day.

But maybe there is something good coming out of this - because if the US won't work out, I will have something incredible to continue here. Until the next chance rolls around...