A lot of lasts

Well, it is inevitable that at this point in my decision to go back to the UK I'd have to face goodbyes and a lot of lasts.
Like this morning, the last time I've had breakfast at the IHOP and the last time I had lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, on Tuesday the last time I've had an ice skating lesson with my awesome teacher Christina and the last time I've gone to a cake decorating class and fought with the icing to try and make royal icing flowers. It's starting to build up now and it's not exactly surprising but whilst I've been very conscious of not feeling all that sad so far, last night suddenly brought everything into perspective.
The Nashua choir has managed to secure a grant which allowed us to do a little mini-tour through New Hampshire and Massachusetts. Out of 4 performances, we did the first one last night, at Keene College and we did quite well.
The killer came though when we were all together in a room before the performance and Diane gave us our usual pep talk and told us how wonderful we sound and to go out there and have fun (I LOVE HER!!!!!!!) and then she looked at me and started saying how wonderful it was to have me with them and that this will be the last few concerts we'll get to sing together. At that moment I could feel the lump in my throat and tears welled up and I knew if she didn't stop I'd start crying so I (somewhat rudely) held up my hand and told her to stop and please not do that because I really couldn't have coped with it so shortly before the performance. I think she got the picture and she did stop but suddenly it made everything seem so real.
I managed to concentrate on the upcoming performance but now that I've gone through a whirlwind day of breakfasting with my closest friends from work and lunching with another friend (also from work) I'm sitting here in my fairly empty apartment, thinking that I am going to have a MAJOR crying session come September 30th, at the end of my very last concert with the Nashua choir.
Oh God, just remembering saying goodbye to my Woking choir not quite 15 months ago makes me wanna scream. I don't think I remember ever hurting so badly in my life. Then, just like now, it had taken less than a year to fall in love with those people and the music we made together.
And now I'm going back to Woking, to my old choir but I'm leaving this one behind and I wish there was some way I could still be part of them too because it just breaks my heart to be without them.
Obviously, goodbyes are part of life but I'll be damned if I don't leave a piece of my soul behind everytime I leave some place. I guess it would be a good idea to stop moving around like some gypsy on speed. I just might have an intact soul at the end of my life...